I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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