is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
