PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
