Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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