is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
