is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
