No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
