yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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