i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
