I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
