so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
