i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
