I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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