wanna go halves on a baby?
too bad you live with your parents still
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he just fucked me for my cheese..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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