toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
