you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
