i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
