You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
