I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
dude. I can hear the air.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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