I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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