marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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