If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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