the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
