the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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