i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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