eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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