Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
