You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
