So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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