Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
it's like iHOP with fire
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
