we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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