This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
