Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
