I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
