you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my liver is dry heaving
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
