i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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