whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
