fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
