Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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