weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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