woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
