Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
