I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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