just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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