Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
