My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
