Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
