I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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