would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
