im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
