so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
