She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
