do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
